People believe weddings are tough, well try being the guy who has never done the bit before the wedding. How the hell do you propose? For me, this was the scary part.
I knew I wanted to marry Lucy very early on. For me it was just about doing it at the right time. The right time was not about the location or a day that was significant. It was when it was right in our lives. There was a lot of stress surrounding Lucy and my relationship. Not in our relationship but around it.
Knowing you want to marry someone is a great step but it is barely the beginning of the wedding process. There was over two years between knowing I am ready to get married and finally popping the question. In fact, I actually was putting together a plan to propose a year before I actually did. This was more of an opportunistic way of proposing based on being in a certain place. It does not take a dummy to know there are times you can propose and a time you can’t.
The exciting part was, I was talking about proposing and I had to take the journey from being ready, to asking someone to spend the rest of their lives with me.
As well as talking about my fitness journey and my journey preparing for what obviously could be the wedding of the year. In future blogs I will cover these three main worries of proposing I encountered.
How the hell do you buy an engagement ring? This stumped me. In fact I needed plenty of advice. For starters, how much should you spend on a ring? Don’t look on Google, the amounts are scary. After that, what ring should you buy? Traditional, slightly crazy or just a Haribo ring? Then you have clarity of diamonds and then what colour is the band? Finally, what ring size should you buy? Women aren’t just walking round wearing rings on their engagement finger.
Asking permission off the father vs not asking. This was a serious question. We are not in the medieval age, daughters are not owned by their fathers but then again weddings have traditions we do not want to lose. Is this feminism vs tradition? Is it respectful or could it be just be a nice thing to do? Then again is it insulting to the bride?
Secondly, how do you ask? I live about an hour away from Lucy’s parents, we are not always with them and when we are, we are together.
Finally, what happens if he says no?
The third worry and of course the most important is, how do you propose?
Facebook is full of people sharing amazing wedding proposals. How do you get to match these expectation? How about if she says no?
I believe the part before the proposal does not get enough credit, I lost sleep thinking about this. It is the ultimate test of putting yourself out there. Even when you get past the worries about buying the ring, asking the father and the popping the question, you have in your mind “I then have to plan a wedding”.
This is not an exclusive guy thing, obviously, we are in the 21st century, but the wedding process is one of the most traditional things we hold dear.
We all know how my pre-engagement story ends, I bought the ring, he said yes, she said yes and once you get past that, everything else seems so small and silly. You know the answer else you would not be asking the question right? If there is any doubt that you do not want to marry this person or if you believe they may not want to marry you, then chances are, your relationship may not be at the engagement stage.
I have only done this once and am no guru of engagements, even if I do boast a 100% success rate, what I want to get across is, it is not mentally, an easy process. You know what is really rubbish when asking about this stuff? Google! It is like when you Google a sore throat and it tells you that you have throat cancer when all you need is some lockets. The information is mostly useless. That is another reason that made me think, I am going to write this, so maybe someone would look and go, hell yeah, how do you measure someone’s finger who does not really wear rings?
I, of course will share my experiences in the upcoming weeks, as well as the most recent news of us finding a venue and setting a date, but until then, have a think about what I have said and think of the poor man or woman who does the proposing.